As sleep has finally come to AJ at night time (thank heavens!), he is now experiencing a great amount of sleepiness during the day. Go figure! The doctor thinks some causes may include:
-continuing low blood pressure (still using blood pressure medicine to help),
-not enough sleep at night (bed by 11:00 pm and up around 5:30 am), and/or
-a rigorous therapy schedule (3-4 hours a day).
The only cause we can really control is the amount of sleep, so AJ is going to try to get to bed earlier.
AJ's 6'3" frame continues to give the occupational therapy equipment problems. The focus on the standard size bed that was too small has now shifted to a standard man size power chair that was too narrow. The chair was replaced with a new one that is wide enough and long enough for his hips and legs, but the arm rests and controls have a hard time lining up to his broad shoulders. I've always told my kids they were cursed with my long monkey-arms! The therapist has been trying to make adjustments to the chair in order to accommodate his needs and for the most part is having success.
During physical therapy today, AJ asked if he should try to resist the leg movements the therapist was manipulating even though he can't move his legs yet. The therapist explained that AJ's injury is like a kinked hose. He should keep sending messages through his nerves until the messages break through to the lower body. It felt encouraging to hear that the efforts AJ is making now could someday "break through" to his lower body.
At times, the reality of what AJ has lost (at least for now!) slaps us in the face when we are least expecting it. After therapy today, we were returning to our room when we heard someone playing the piano in the commons area. As the notes to "100 Years" floated through the hall, the memories of AJ playing the piano brought tears to my eyes. As I looked at AJ, and others who were with us, I could see their emotions had also come to the surface. Although I know that the Lord has a plan for his life, I find that there are moments when we also feel sorrow. Yet, as we rely on our faith we are buoyed up and strengthened. Then, even in the midst of loss, we feel gratitude for our many blessings, hope for our future, and joy at the peace we receive.
I have two good friend whom, at a young age, were considered amazing and talented pianists. One went to Julliard on full scholarship and the other to BYU on musical scholarship. Both guys tried to get into philharmonic orchestras and found the competition beyond insane for almost no money. As time went by, Eric (the BYU guy) after his mission and at 25 gave up piano and went into law. He's one of the best I've ever heard and only plays now at parties and church get-togethers. Everyone is like, "Wow! Eric is awesome! Go figure." But we all know he makes way, way more in his practice than he would having played the piano. If you ask Eric he tells you he's super grateful he gave it up and says his dreams would never have blossomed down that rabbit hole.
ReplyDeleteKeith, the Julliard guy, actually did get into the LA philharmonic and played for three years before he gave it up and started playing here in Las Vegas at the Luxor. I see his live as terrible but he assures me it's way, way better than it was and he makes way better money than he did in LA. Wow, that was back in 2008. In 2011 he gave it all up and went back into his father's real estate business.
I know a guy in SLC from my old days from the LDS church who was soooooo good at playing the guitar! HE WAS GOOOOOD! I mean, Eddie Van Halen good or better! He played weekends for cover bands when he could get gigs and worked full time at Best Buy. His passion was his guitar. After his SECOND temple divorce he's pushing 50 and with bad credit and 3 kids he never sees and can't support. He's broke and empty. But hey, he can play "Eruption" and plays "Yellow Bedletter" perfectly.
These talents are good and well and nice and all that. We develop these skills as children and spend thousands of hours honing them... but, when you become a man you put away childish things. I don't play baseball anymore and I don't play trumpet and have not for years. As I remember I was pretty good! Who cares. That does not define me. Piano does not define AJ. AJ's definition is the fact he prevails. He's accomplished many things from his mission and Spanish to Piano and on and on the list goes. His accomplishments are a reflection of his soul and you can take away everything but his spirit is the only thing that matters. Intentions, desires, choices and work defines us ... not talent and not success. Those things are unimportant. I believe God looks upon the heart. I also believe life is about experiences and being happy. If AJ gets back to playing piano or if my brother Jim goes back to playing trumpet that's all good and well, but only if it makes Jim or AJ happy. Those talents have already been experienced and mastered.
My g/f is from China and speaks Mandarin. Sometimes I see something online that stays, "Bus full of Chinese people die in horrible accident!" or something like that... and I think, "I wish I could download their ability to speak Mandarin into my brain! They died and left that amazing talent behind!" How stupid of me. Things like that are not lost or wasted just because they can no longer be used in a way we see as "useful". We stand on the shoulders of our own accomplishments and don't relive them just as we don't go back to High School. I doubt Jim ever speaks French or Stephen Italian but the fact they became proficient at one time is the only thing that really matters... same with AJ and the piano.
That's my 2 cents ... that I'm sure nobody cares about. C'est la vie