We continue to be so grateful for the visits from friends and family. This evening some of my friends from home were traveling to Provo and stopped by. Even though AJ was not very familiar with them, we all visited and had such a great time! It continues to amaze and humble me at how our burdens are lightened by others' acts of love and kindness. <3
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| A Taste of Home: Washington apples and homemade brownies! |
I sure hope AJ gets better... when this first happened a sense of shock and desperation went through me that lasted for a week or more. The LDS/Christian stuff that goes through this blog and the comments reminds me of a strange time in my life. When I was on my mission in Africa. Within the first month on my mission a group of people approached me and my comp and asked us to heal their blind friend/daughter. They did so in sincerity; with hope. It was my first time in this situation and my comp's too as Zimbabwe had just been opened up after Rhodesia fell. At this, we both felt a panic go through our bodies. It quickly made us wonder what the priesthood and faith and ordinances were for if not to help people. The woman wanted a blessing and the people were very sincere and kind. We conferences together, my comp and myself, both just 20 years old, and quickly talked about the purpose and point of these things and contrasted "eternal perspective" with the example of jesus and his apostles. My comp wanted to turn her away and not give the blind woman a blessing at all. I couldn't do that... I felt that this, along with what I believed at the time was more to be eternal priesthood and faith-type healing/salvation purposes, was the reason why we were there, in Africa, in the first place. So, remembering examples of Joseph Smith and Jesus and others from my studies, I went up to the woman and asked her if she believed in Jesus Christ. She said, "I do." I asked if she loved him and knew him to be her savior and redeemer. She again said, "I do" and began to weep from her bind eyes. Like a coward, taking nothing on myself, I told her, "By your faith you are healed and by the desire of Jesus Christ... if those two things are present then you will be healed." She knelt on the ground and I laid my hands on her head and said similar words to that effect in a blessing and told her to be healed by the power of Jesus Christ, in her faith and by the will of the Lord. After we were finished she was in tears and so were the people around us. She stood up and hugged me then my comp and so did the people in the entire crowd who were with her. My comp was in tears also and shook my hand and thanked me. Everyone seemed happy and they all walked away feeling good and joyful.
ReplyDeleteAnd all I knew is that she was still bind.
A friend of mine made a youtube video on why he left the LDS church and in it said his mother fell ill on his mission. He was encouraged to stay out and he prayed and talked with his bishop and others at home and begged them to heal her. She died and he decided it was the will of the Lord. Later, a few years after his mission, his brother was hit by a car and was in the hospital, dying. He was a good LDS guy ... a virgin ... a tithe payer ... a temple recommend holder and a true believer. In his video, years and years and years after he'd left the church, he wept and you could feel his sincerity as he told his story. He fasted five days and begged and pleaded. His stake had an official stake fast and just before his brother died anyway my friend laid hands on his brothers head and in the name of Christ in the Melchizedek Priesthood commanded him to rise and be whole... but his brother died two hours later.
Mormons call this a "test of faith" when your faith is not rewarded temporally by things that were reported on a frequent basis in the bible as well as in the time of JS.
That all said, I know God lives and I can't deny his love for us (yes "his" and not "His" - that "it's his name" stuff is silly). But my secret to peace and happiness is in evolving past organized religion and finding what my dad used to call "personal salvation". OR is fine and dandy for people who live very coarse lives, but OR is like a crutch given to the lame... very useful and of benefit, at the time they are lame, but once they heal the crutch is nothing to them but an inefficient hindrance.
The truth is, I dunno if Jesus turned water in to wine ... but if he did then it seems like a really stupid, useless miracle. I dunno if he healed the blind or lepers or if he cast out evil spirits in people who were obviously epileptics but i do believe in Ether 12. and though I doubt all this "miracle" stuff from raising Lazarus from the dead (only to be killed a few days later) to feeding lots of hungry people with just a few fish and a couple loaves of bread, i do believe in protective miracles! so, combining the fact i know god loves us and that angels and god protect us from harm when it is their desire, i find that the growth we obtain from the kind of things AJ is going through is only for the "elect" and the strongest of us. i'd love AJ to be healed, but, from my experience, this is probably not the desire of God else AJ would have been protected from this challenge. Being found worthy of the challenge (which people like you and me or not) he's been given this for growth beyond what people like me are capable of. and, seeing how this has become his path, as much as i'd love to see AJ healed from it and become just as mediocre and boring as i am, i believe this might be a life-long calling for him, ironically, because of his strength.
ReplyDeletenow, i can't prove that stuff I just typed, but in my anecdotal experiences there is non provable, personal knowledge and the foundation of my personal knowledge tells me that this "accident" is intentional and that maybe you and me hoping he gets better and plays piano and basketball and has kids and all that stuff we think is "important" is actually analogous to Peter drawing his sword and cutting off the ear of the soldier trying to take Jesus and Jesus calling Peter "Satan" for doing so and thus accusing his actions of being against the plan of God.
I hate to accept that as the truth but I do... as much as I'd like AJ to be just like me ... the final truth is ... we all lose our youth and ability with time and we all die ... and the fairy-tale Mormons tell each other about how important it is to be married and have kids, kids and more kids in order to get into the highest level of heaven is all bull**it. It's not about what you get - it's about what you give and how you deal with loss that defines your relationship with God.
Eventually, we all have to evolve past organized religion. I believe this is what JS meant when he spoke of "The Church of the First Born" as an evolution to the LDS Church... this being spoken of a few years before he decided to live the vial and disturbing practice of polygamy.